


Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out of

by Cinnamean



Series: Voltron: The Legendary Sickfics [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Injury, Langst, M/M, Minor Character Death, Scarring, Sick Lance, Vomiting, Whump, caretaker keith, sickfic (chapter 2)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-14 08:26:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13586196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinnamean/pseuds/Cinnamean
Summary: A solo mission with Keith. Great, who could ask for more? It was going to be easy, just slip in and out of the ship with the information and then come back to the castle. Nothing major, right?But there's a few bumps in the road. Bumps that leave Lance both mentally and physically scarred.He will have to live with the guilt written on his face for the rest of his life, a permanent reminder.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Don't hate me I do what I must.
> 
> Title is a U2 song if you're interested. You can find it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pSvpaMrClw&list=RDEM42gVzHaBaiOyuec4jx6v-A&index=13  
> 100% fitting I swear

Of all the people to get stuck on a solo mission with,  _ of course _ it had to be Keith.

 

It was going to be a quick and easy mission. But, that was only after you took away the fact that it was on a commander ship, not just some random one from in a fleet. That made sneaking in and stealing information a lot more stressful than it should have been for him.

 

They both flew in using the red lion, Keith at the wheel while Lance clung to the back of the seat with his unactivated bayard tight in his hand. He gripped it tight and hummed quietly to himself, a calming mechanism his older sister taught him.

 

Just as Pidge said, there was a blip in the Galra’s shield just under the belly of the ship. Red slipped through easily, landing upside down. Keith and Lance exiting and used their jetpacks to get closer. Keith grabbed on effortlessly to the metal while Lance had to fumble for a bolt, flailing in the vacuum of space and laughing at himself. He didn’t miss the way the other’s eyes rolled.

 

Keith took out his own bayard and activated it with a flash of light, slamming it through the metal and cutting them an easy way in. The red paladin flew in first, not even waiting for Lance to catch up.

 

The hallways were eerily quiet, which made the hairs on t he back of Lance’s neck stand on end. Every so often, they would hear the clunking of sentries feet from around the corner and pressed themselves against the walls, waiting for them to pass.

 

Lance struggled to keep his anxiety at bay, trying to convince himself in his head that this was just like every other mission. But the uneasy feeling in his gut didn’t go away, making him jumpier than usual. He just about shot Keith’s arm off when he touched his shoulder.

 

Now he  _ definitely  _ didn’t miss that eye roll.

 

“You’re going the wrong way,” Keith whispered, his voice he ated. “The room is to the left, not the right. Have you even been looking at the map Pidge gave us?”

 

Lance waved his hand at Keith exasperatedly. “Of course I have, let’s go.”

 

Keith huffed and turned on his heel away from Lance, walking down the correct hallway. Lance made sure the other wasn’t looking when he quickly tapped his wrist and brought up the holomap, the two blinking dots on the screen representing them. He knew what he was doing, Keith didn’t need to be such a-

 

They were just about to turn a corner when there was a loud thump down the hallway, followed by voices. Keith grabbed Lance by the back of his collar and pinned him against the wall with his arm. “Quiet,” he said, as if Lance didn’t already know to do that.

 

The voices laughed and got further away, the dull footsteps growing quieter. Then it was dead quiet again. Keith slowly peered over the wall, his eyes narrowed and sword held ready. He dropped his arm and let Lance go, motioning him with his head.

 

“It’s clear, let’s go.”

 

Lance grumbled under his breath, the weight in his stomach still unbearably heavy. They continued down the hall until the holomap pinged, a flashing red dot blinking brightly next to their own dots. On the left was the Galra’s data room which contained what they were here for.

 

It was Lance’s time to shine. He pressed himself against the doorframe with his bayard activated, light in his hands and humming with energy. He nodded to Keith who nodded back before pressing his hand against the doorpad.

 

The door slid open and Lance didn’t waste a second. He spun into the room and aimed for the first thing that moved. One shot, clean to the middle. He expected the satisfying sound of crunching metal and the frizzing of fried circuits, but instead, he heard sizzling and something  _ squishy _ .

 

Lance’s eyes opened in horror when he saw what- no,  _ who _ he hit. It was a Galra sentry, not a bot, but a living, barely-breathing one. They looked incredibly young, he couldn’t have been older than a teenager. God, he looked around Lance’s age.

 

The Galra teen leaned heavily against the wall before slumping to the ground, groaning and whimpering at the pain. One of his clawed hands was clasped on his side where Lance had shot him, a sticky, dark purple liquid oozing from his suit. His eyes were squeezed shut and they were struggling to breathe.

 

Mission be fucking damned. Lance threw his gun to the ground, the bayard deactivating automatically. He slid across the floor on his knees and pulled the teen into his arms, putting his hands on their now pale face. The kid looked up at him with bleary eyes, his whole body shaking from the effort of breathing.

 

“H-hey,” Lance stuttered, his voice trembling. “Yo u’re going to be a-alright, okay? Stay awake for me, you got that?”

 

“Lance,” Keith gasped, looking at the Galra boy bleeding out in his teammate’s lap. He felt a pang of pity. The blue paladin was really too good of a shot. “It’s not going to work. He’s bleeding too much, don’t prolong things.”

 

The purple blood was pooling on the floor already, trickling through the Galra’s fingers and staining Lance’s armor. It smelled sickly sweet. He shook his head furiously, his face determined. “No, he can make it, he isn’t going to die. I won’t let him die.”

 

The Galra coughed up more purple, baring his teeth at him. “Don’t give me your pity, paladin. I am loyal to my empire.”

 

Lance heard Keith sigh and step away. “Fine, you can try to save a hopeless cause. Just… Never mind. I’m getting the information and we are leaving.”

 

The Galra thrashed in Lance’s arms, causing his wound to bleed heavily. He was yelling in a language that neither of their translators understood and Lance struggled to keep the boy still.

 

“Stop! You’ll hurt yourself more!” Lance yelled, trying to pin the Galra’s arms to his sides. The Galra let out a guterral screech, his eyes full of fury and hatred. Then when he ran out of breath, he went limp like a broken doll, his eyes as lifeless as one too.

 

Keith inserted Pidge’s flashdrive into the computer, her hacking icon popping up on the screen before getting to work. A bar popped up showing that 4% was downloaded, approximately five minutes left until completion.

 

Lance had time. He looked into the teen’s eyes, noting how his breathing was shallow. Lance’s own breathing was heavy and ragged and he was desperately trying to keep himself from hyperventilating. That wouldn’t help anyone in this situation.

 

“Hey, I need you to take deep breaths for me, okay? Whatever you do, don’t fall asleep. Help… Help is coming.”

 

The Galra was unresponsive, his eyes barely open. Lance tried tapping the side of his face, but they didn’t do anything. No slap of the hand, no note of anger. The only sign that he was even alive was the slow rise and fall of his chest, but even that was faint.

 

Lance could feel his eyes start to sting with a growing heat. His hands weren’t just trembling anymore, they were full on quaking. He grabbed the Galra by the shoulders, shaking him lightly, but desperately. “Dude, you have to stay awake. Keep your eyes open, please, please, please…”

 

The teen slowly opened his eyes again, a thin line of blood trickling out of his mouth. “Yeah, y-yeah, just like that,” Lance said, a huge release in his chest. “You need to-”

 

The Galra hissed something through his teeth, coughing up a clot of blood.

 

Lance leaned in closer. “What is it? What did you say?”

 

The Galra teen sucked in a breath through his mouth, his eyes hard and cold. They were the eyes of a soldier, not some child. “ _ Vrepit Sa _ .”

 

Before Lance could react, the teen let go of his side and slashed Lance across the face with his purple-stained claws. It was like cutting through paper, ripping deep into his cheek.

 

Lance screamed loudly, barely hearing Keith’s yelling over his own. He dropped the now limp body of the teen, scrambling to his feet and clutching his hands over his right eye. Already he felt the thick, hot liquid pooling in his palms, gagging when he registered what it was. The pain was  _ unbearable _ like someone had taken a hot poker and sliced it down his face.

 

He didn’t even realize it when he stopped screaming, his mouth wide and panting heavily. He was only able to take a few steps before he crumpled down on his knees, curling in on himself moaning in pain.

 

Keith was crouching in front of Lance, trying to pry his hands off his face to try and see how bad the wound was. “Fuck, Lance, let go! I need to see it!”

 

Lance was sucking in air like a dead fish, his head light and vision spotty. His eyes were rolling into the back of his head as he began to faint.

 

“ _ Lance _ !” Keith yelled, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking sense into him. He snapped back into focus to listen, his entire body shaking like a leaf. His hands were pressing to his face so hard he might have crushed his cheekbone.

 

“K-Keith,” Lance gulped, his eye drifting to the body behind the red paladin. The teen was still and soundless, the blood continuing to spread across the floor until it stained the soles of his boots.

 

His breathing picked up again. He felt sick.

 

Lance quickly threw off his helmet and turned to the side to vomit, the acidic taste burning the lining of his throat. He didn’t feel Keith rubbing his back through the thick chestplate. Even when his stomach was empty, he kept gagging on his own tongue, trying to spit out the taste.

 

His head felt heavy and his mind light, the sound of rushing blood deafening him. The air was thick with both the sickly sweet smell of Galra blood and his own, choking Lance without mercy. It was hard to not gag again. The uninjured eye was blind with tears that dripped down his face, splashing on the ground just inches from the Galra’s... A sob ripped out of his chest.

 

The computer beeped, Pidge’s hacking icon popping up a second time to signal that the download was complete. Keith grabbed the side’s of Lance’s face, forcing him to look away from the Galra. He tried petting his teammate’s hair as an effort to calm him down.

 

“Time’s up. We need to go. Can you stand?”

 

Lance nodded his head numbly, taking Keith’s hand and pushing himself to his feet. His legs wobbled dangerously underneath him but he steadied himself before he could toppled over. It was painful to avoid looking at the boy, but there was nothing he could do anymore.

 

Was there something he could have done?

 

Keith snatched the drive from the port and grabbed Lance’s forearm, leading him to the door. Lance quickly grabbed his helmet to put back on his head, snatching his bayard and attaching it to his belt just before they ran out of the room. One hand remained on his face while the other grasped Keith’s, allowing him to guide Lance half-blind through the ship.

 

The halls were still quiet when they snuck back through. Lanc e didn’t even realize he was holding his breath the whole time they were moving. He had to bite his tongue to keep from whimpering, the side of his face throbbing in pain. Blood trailed down his arm and dripped from his elbow, leaving a trail of droplets behind them.

 

“Keith,” Lance whispered, his voice raspy.

 

“Just hold on,” Keith assured him as softly as he could, picking up his pace.

 

“But Keith-”

 

An alarm sounded overhead and Keith cursed. The Galra knew they were here now, wasn’t that just peachy? They must have found the…

 

Keith snatched Lance by the wrist and dragged him along, the other too tired to protest. He had lost a lot of blood and was starting to get woozy, standing straight now a conscious effort. They abandoned stealth and sprinted through the hallways, luckily managing not to run into any sentries.

 

The luck didn’t last long, however. Soon, there were guards spilling from every hallway and shooting at them wildly. Lance could feel the sweat on the back of his neck when some bullets came too close for comfort.

 

Keith slashed down the sentries in their path relentlessly and without hesitation, never letting go of Lance. He knew he should be shooting back at them, but none of his hands were free and he was almost certain he would die if he removed the one on his face.

 

A stray bullet flew through the air and snagged Keith in the leg, making them both stumble. The hallway ahead of them was clear, but there was a cluster of bots behind them armed with guns that seemed never-ending.

 

Keith released Lance’s arm and they kept running. “Lance, I know this is a lot to ask, but I need you to shoot back.”

 

Lance’s stomach flipped at the thought. His senses were flooding with the dark purple blood and the cold, unforgiving eyes of the Galran boy…

 

“Lance, focus!” Keith yelled. Another bullet flew past their heads, only millimeters from hitting his helmet. “It will be fine, just work your magic,  sharpshooter.”

Lance’s chest was suddenly filled with pride, his anxiety and fear temporarily pushed to the back of his mind. Yeah, he was the team sharpshooter. They were just bots, it would be fine. His first priority as a paladin of Voltron was to protect his teammates, no matter what.

 

With a temporary newfound confidence, Lance came to a stop and spun a 180, his bayard materializing and taking form. He lifted his left arm and aimed, his other hand still applying pressure to his face. He took a deep breath to calm himself and focus, the sentries gaining ground and getting closer.

 

His finger was just about to pull the trigger when his entire body froze.

 

The piercing eyes of the Galra boy flooded his vision.  _ Vrepit sa  _ hissed in his ear just before-

 

A bullet hit Lance dead in the arm, causing him to yell in pain. He almost let go of his face before clutching it again with a hiss. His bayard fell to the ground with a clatter as he hunched over himself, his stomach performing a circus act.

 

“Keith, I can’t do it, I can’t do it, I can’t do it,” he muttered to himself, trying to regulate his breathing. The anxiety and pain washed over him in neverending waves, too violent to let him up for air.

 

He didn’t even realize it when they were running again because of being trapped in his own mind. Keith was saying something to him, but he couldn’t focus on it long enough to understand. Lance’s bayard was attached to Keith’s belt, bouncing against his thigh as they ran.

 

“We’re almost to Red, we will get out of here in a minute. But I need you to focus until then, got it?”

 

Lance nodded dumbly, his whole body numb.

 

It was a blur up until they got back to Red, both of them flying back in through her open jaws and racing to the cockpit. Keith worked on getting them the hell out of there while Lance collapsed in the back of the cockpit, his knees to his chest and back pressed against the wall. It was an ongoing war to keep himself from A) hyperventilating and/or B) passing the fuck out.

 

The red lion sped away from the ship, the Galra following close behind. Keith glanced back at Lance with worry, quickly contacting the castle with a press of a button.

 

Allura’s face popped up on the screen, her face alert. “What is it, Keith? Has something happened?”

 

“Yeah, Galra found us out. Both of us were shot, but Lance isn’t faring too well. Half of his face is injured and bleeding heavily. I need you to get Coran to prepare healing pods for us by the time we get back.”

 

Allura nodded, pulling up a holoscreen and pressing buttons quickly. “I’ll inform him of the situation. Were you able to retrieve the information?”

 

Keith held up the flashdrive with a smirk. “Yep.”

 

Some of the tension in the princess’s shoulders released. “Good, then the mission was successful, aside from a few bumps in the road.”

 

Lance heard this and winced. It was his fault that they both got injured. He thunked his head on the metal lightly. Useless.

 

“We will head back to the castle now- what the  _ fuck _ is that?” Keith said. One of the holoscreens was displaying the ship chasing behind them, a massive canon charging and pointing in their direction.

 

“What is it? Keith, report the situation!” Allura yelled through the speakers.

 

Lance looked over at the screen and gasped. “Keith, we need to speed up!”

 

Keith grit his teeth, slamming the controls forward. “I’m trying, give me a second!”

 

“Keith, what is happening?!”

 

“Red, faster!”

 

The canon fired just seconds after Keith swerved to the side, but it wasn’t enough for the blast to miss them completely. The cockpit was lit up with a bright light that stung both of their eyes, but after a few seconds passed, nothing seemed to have changed.

 

The cockpit was silent and thick, the call with Allura now offline. “Did anything get damaged?” Lance asked, h is voice low and tense.

 

Keith clicked a few buttons and viewed the status log, humming to himself. “The canon didn’t affect anything? I don’t understand what it was for-”

 

Then, the entire cockpit went dark, the only light emitting from the stars outside. Keith just about inhaled his tongue and panicked when the lights flickered before coming back on. Red growled in their mind bond, telling Keith that the blast effecting her quintessence negatively. She was going to-

 

“Keith!”

 

He was snapped out of it when Lance yelled at him, pointing out that the canon was warming up again. Keith panicked, trying to push red to go faster, but she only growled in distress.

 

“Come on, move! We need to get away!” Keith yelled, the adrenaline in his veins overwhelming.

 

Red’s eyes lit up as she growled again. Suddenly the stars were moving past faster than before, the ship growing smaller and smaller until it was barely a blip behind them. Both of them sighed in relief, their hearts still beating fast in their chests.

 

They were safe now. Well, they thought so.

 

Red’s speed didn’t stop. The stars blurred by so fast that soon they were nothing but white lines across the glass. The whole machine was rattling from the velocity, startling the passengers inside.

 

“What’s going on?” Keith asked through the mind meld. Red growled. He wanted fast, now here’s fast.

 

Keith wanted to slam his hands on the dash, but the force rendered him immobile. His head was practically glued to the back of his seat, his teeth gnashing together as he tried to endure it.

 

Then, the lights flickered again. It was only once, not much to worry about.

 

But then the flickering increased. Intervals melded together until it was like they were at some screwed up version of a rave. Then, with a loud click, they shut down completely.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith takes care of Lance.  
> Lance tries to cope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 2! It's friggin LONG. Well, in my standards at least lol. 
> 
> A special thanks to my buddy Nathali for helping me edit even tho she can't handle langst. I appreciate you, my boo. 
> 
> Also DEEEEP BREATH THIS IS DEDICATED TO THE AMAZING TAYLOR-TUT okay byeeee  
> (but seriously they're the one who inspired me to start writing whump so I mean asdfghjk)

Red went silent, the lion’s mechanical body still projecting through space. It continued like that until it slowed down to a sluggish drift, allowing Keith to finally pry himself off of the seat. The cockpit was dark again, barely illuminated by the stars outside.

 

“Red?”

 

No response.

 

Keith cursed under his breath, pressing every button there was on the dash in a desperate attempt to turn his lion back on. Nothing worked, no matter what he did. He swore loudly and kicked the wall out of frustration. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to think.

 

Wait, their helmets! 

 

He quickly tore his helmet from his head, pressing the rescue button Hunk had installed. Thank you, sunshine man. It glowed a bright red, signalling that it hadn’t yet been received. Now all they could do was wait for the castle to get it and pray that they were found.

 

Keith groaned, setting the helmet on the floor. As Lance has reminded him multiple times, patience wasn’t exactly his forte. Speaking of Lance…

 

The blue paladin was curled by the wall, his head in his knees tucked in and hands still stuck to his face. His silence was unsettling. Keith honestly didn’t think Lance had an off button.

 

Wait, no, that was awful. Now really wasn’t the time to joke around like that. His teammate was injured, both physically and… mentally.

 

Lance was a long-distance fighter, so his reaction made sense. He always took the shot, but it must have been easier when the target was further away and you didn’t have to watch their death up close. Keith on the other hand, didn’t have that luxury. 

 

He had seen the life slip from someone’s eyes many times, and he was not proud to say that. Most times he tried to hit them somewhere nonfatal, but fighting was messy. If it came down to it, he would have to take someone’s life in order for him to keep his own.

 

It wasn’t easy, it never was. The first time it happened, he holed himself in his room for days. The guilt was painful, and it never went away completely. It was only after Shiro came to him that he managed to heal. Or start to, anyway.

 

But now Lance was going through the same thing he had. Keith wasn’t like Shiro, he couldn’t motivate a team or help someone cope with death. He was the one in the corner who listened more than participated. 

 

Lance started to shake, his breath ragged. A sob escaped his mouth and Keith panicked. He had no idea how to deal with people crying. If you looked up awkward in a dictionary, you would see his 6th grade yearbook photo.

 

He approached as non-threatening as he could and took a seat next to the other on the cold floor before placing a hand on Lance’s shoulder. The blue paladin showed no signs of knowing he was there, continuing to sob softly.

 

“Are you okay?”  _ What the actual fuck kind of question was that?! _

 

Lance shook his head. “Hurts,” he moaned.

 

“Your face?”

 

A nod.

 

Keith grabbed Lance’s forearm, but the other resisted. “No, no, no, _ no _ ,” he repeated, shaking his head frantically.

 

Keith squeezed the other’s arm harder. “I need to see it so we can clean it up. Put your arms down and stop overreacting, it’s just some scratches.” And so  Lance’s hands finally came away from his face, unleashing a flood.

 

The scratches were long and deep, reaching all the way from Lance’s eyebrow to his chin. Lance’s eye was squeezed shut, which Keith preferred at the moment. Since the pressure of his hands was gone, the blood flowed freely from the cuts on the blue paladin’s face. It trickled down his chin like water, dripping onto the floor below.

 

Keith cursed and jumped back, avoiding the thick drops of blood before they got on him. As soon as he let go, Lance clapped his hands back over his face, a high-pitched whine in his throat. Tears trickled out of his good eye, but only blood came from the other. They both mixed together in pink swirls on the floor and his lap.

 

Medkit. They needed the medkit.

 

Keith raced to the small cabinet and pulled out a box full of medical equipment. He rushed back over to Lance and tore into the box, trying to decipher what everything was from the Altean labels. 

 

He picked up a roll of pink gauze. “Move your hands.”

 

Lance shook his head. “You need to clean wounds first, dumbass,” he said through clenched teeth. Blood was trickling down his arms now, the droplets on the floor turning into small puddles. 

 

“Fuck,” Keith swore, digging through the box again. He found some orange looking liquid and small cotton discs. He vaguely remembered Coran using this on Pidge once when she got a cut, so this might be the disinfectant. He quickly tore off the lid and doused a disc with it.

 

“There, now move your hands.”

 

Lance was hesitant, but he finally took his blood-covered hands away, hissing when the cool air hit his face. Keith didn’t waste a second before wiping away the blood, the other paladin screeching and trying to pull away.

 

“A warning first would be nice!” He yelled, his voice scratchy. Keith apologized quickly, telling Lance before he applied the disc again.

 

The discs were too small for the job, but it was all they had for cleaning. Lance winced without fail every time they were pressed against his cuts, his body shaking from the effort of keeping still. Or maybe he was shaky from a lot of things. His hands gripped his legs tightly, nails digging into his own skin. 

 

There was something thick and purple smeared on Lance’s face… Keith’s throat went tight when he realized it was blood from the Galra’s hand from when they struck him. He didn’t mention it was there to his teammate.

 

It didn’t take long before red-stained discs surrounded them, the box now empty of clean ones. Lance was frighteningly pale, his good eye cloudy and half open. The cuts were mostly clean, only a little bit of blood oozing from the deepest scratch, the middle one. Keith grabbed the gauze again, Lance too weak to protest anymore.

 

Keith unwrapped the bandages but was unsure where to start. He should wrap them around his head, right? Would that work?

 

It was a mess. The gauze was loose and uneven, leaving parts of the cut exposed to the air. He tried covering it up more, but there wasn’t enough gauze left without using it all. And they still had to treat the bullet wounds. 

 

“Lance?” The blue paladin stirred. “Lance! Wake up!”

 

Lance sat up with a jolt, groaning and grabbing for his face again only to be met with the thick cotton. “Is it done? I was out of it for a minute, sorry…”

 

“It’s fine,” Keith said, sighing with relief. “I need you to take off your armor and show me your arm though.”

 

Lance rolled his eyes, unclipping his chest piece groggily. “Take me to dinner first, jeez…”

 

Keith would be lying if he said his ears weren’t red.

 

Lance unzipped the undersuit halfway, just enough to where he could slip his arm out. The sleeves material was singed from the bullet, stained with even more blood. Joy. The red paladin was starting to get sick of the color red.

 

He made quick work of it, grateful that the bullet wound easier to clean and wrap than the scratches on Lance’s face. Keith ripped the gauze off with his teeth and tucked it to keep it from unwinding. 

 

“There, how are you feeling?” Keith paused before tacking on, “Buddy?”

 

Lance laughed woozily, his shoulders bouncing. “Like shit. You? Wait, how is your wound? Are you okay?”

 

Leave it to Lance to be concerned when he was the one bleeding out. To be honest, Keith barely felt the wound. It wasn’t severe, barely enough to penetrate his suit. He shrugged. “Doesn’t hurt.”

 

Lance frowned, pushing himself off the wall and crawling closer to Keith, grabbing the gauze from him before he could protest. “Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t wrap it.”

 

Keith rolled his eyes, his face red. It felt awkward having Lance so close to him, but the other acted like he had never heard of personal space before in his life. “It’s fine.”

 

“Is not.”

 

“It is.”

 

“Is not.”

 

“Seriously, I’m fine.”

 

Lance unrolled the gauze, snapping it in his hands like a whip. “Lay down, I got this.”

 

Keith snatched the gauze from the other without much resistance. Lance was too weak to fight back at the time. “No! I’ll deal with it myself, just stop. You’re half blind right now, how could you help?”

 

Lance crossed his arms and pouted. “I could do it just fine. You just-” He cut himself off with a hiss, his hand clapping to his eye and hunching over himself. Keith’s hands hovered over him, unsure if he should touch.

 

“Are… Are you good?” Keith asked awkwardly. Lance slowly uncurled himself and nodded his head, sweat beading his forehead. 

 

“I just… I need to lay down for a second.”

 

Keith nodded. “Yeah, you do that. Wait, take the chair, it’s more comfortable.”

 

Keith helped Lance hobbled over to the chair, his teammate too shaky to do it himself. He sat down with a groan, curling his legs onto the seat. He looked like a curled up cat, just less comfortable.

 

“Now bandage yourself, mullet,” Lance grumbled, his chin pressed to his chest. 

 

Keith didn’t bother to remove his suit. He took his knife and cut away the fabric around the wound, wrapping the remainder of the gauze around his leg. It was uncomfortable and tight, but the rush of adrenaline from before was finally gone and he was starting to ache all over. His limbs felt like lead.

 

Both of them were exhausted and injured, so some rest would do them good.

 

Keith opened up another compartment where the emergency blankets were stored. They were put in each lion after a mission on an icy planet where Shiro fell through the ice into a lake below. Keith shuddered at the memory. There were two blankets and one pillow, the small, flimsy kind like those you would receive on an airplane. 

 

He stood and handed the pillow to Lance. “Here, you need this more than me.”

 

Lance cracked open his eye. “No, you have it. You’re taking the floor, right? I’ll be fine with just the blanket.”

 

Keith tucked the pillow under his arm and draped the blanket over his teammate. He was almost swallowed by the material, which the red paladin found almost endearing.

 

Ugh, gay thoughts begone.

 

He set the pillow down on the floor next to the chair, not wanting to be too far if Lance were to need something. It was weird how protective he was acting  towards him all of a sudden, but he chalked it up to the severe injury and mental trauma the other went through. Lance probably needed the support right now, so he just needed to figure out how to provide it.

 

Hunk and Pidge would probably know what to do. They’d known Lance the longest, especially Hunk. From what Keith got, the two of them were childhood friends. After tough missions, he always saw the three of them dive into Lance’s room, presumably to play video games. 

 

He was always kind of jealous he wasn’t invited, but never pushed it.

 

Keith unfolded his own blanket and curled underneath it, wrinkling his nose at the stale scent. Despite the situation, the cockpit was peacefully quiet. He was just about to doze off to the sound of Lance’s breathing when he was snapped awake by him speaking.

 

“Hey, Keith? You still up?”

 

Keith stayed quiet, unsure if he was prepared to have this conversation. He knew what was probably coming, and he didn’t know how to handle it. Again, he wasn’t anything like Shiro.

 

“Guess you fell asleep, huh? I don’t blame you. That mission was really… nerve-wracking.” A long, deep sigh. “I just can’t sleep after all that. In a way, I’m jealous that you can.”

 

Keith kept his mouth shut, listening to Lance speak as he stared openly into the dark.

 

“I just…” He heard the other inhale shakily. “I can’t get that kid’s eyes out of my head. It’s like they’ve been burned into my memory. I… I feel sick. Not like  I’ll throw up again or anything, but…”

 

Keith held his breath, his eyes welling up. God, he was being reminded of his past self. He wanted nothing more than to comfort the other, but restrained himself. It was best for him to get it all out first like he had. Besides, he had no idea how to even  _ begin _ comforting him.

 

“I know he was the enemy. I  _ know _ that. But does that mean it shouldn’t have… Affected me? Impacted me? I mean, we are fighting the Galra, but… I don’t know. I’m just so c-confused and lost and…”

 

Another shaky intake of breath. “I’ve killed people before. I’m aware of that. I mean, all those ships in those massive fleets must have had live Galra in them. When you’re in the heat of battle, sometimes it’s easy to forget that.”

 

“There were so many other things I could have done. I should have been more careful. I should have looked before shooting, we could have just tied him up and knocked him out or  _ something _ . But instead I…”

 

There was a long pause. A  _ long  _ pause. Keith almost thought Lance had drifted to sleep when he spoke again.

 

“I hadn’t ever seen it that close. With someone so…  _ young _ ,” Lance’s voice wobbled, thick with tears. Keith bit his bottom lip when he heard him sob softly into his arm. 

 

“What if he had family waiting for him? Like me with my family back on Earth? Will they ever know that he’s gone? He won’t ever get to see them again. Sometimes I wonder if, you know… If I’ll ever see my family again.”

 

“I miss my mom and dad. I used to Skype them when I was at the Garrison all the time. I remember they sent me a message the night we left and I… I never got to read it. Pidge should work on making a space-Skype next,” Lance joked weakly, chuckling softly. 

 

“I miss all of my siblings, but I miss my older sister the most. Don’t get me wrong, I love all of my brothers and sisters, but she always knew what to say. I wonder if she would know what to do know.”

 

Keith was at a loss. He didn’t have any family waiting for him back on Earth. How could he help comfort Lance when he didn’t know the extent of his pain?

 

Lance’s breath hitched softly and Keith could hear him trying to stay quiet. He sniffed, his nose stuffed with snot. “I want to forget about this. I don’t want  to remember him. It’s selfish, I know, but…” He stopped talking after that. Keith laid on the floor wide awake and waiting for more, but he heard Lance’s breathing slow down. He must have been too drained to stay awake any longer.

 

There was a loud, short beep. Keith perked up to see his helmet just a few feet away. The light was now blinking in the darkness, showing that the signal was received by the castle ship.

 

Keith let his head hit the pillow again, a relieved sigh escaping from him. They would be fine. Soon Allura and Coran would find them and they could get healed in the pods.

 

He slipped his eyes shut and fell into an uneasy sleep.

 

~~~

 

Keith woke up disoriented, reaching out blindly into the darkness. Where was he? Why did his back hurt so much? He sat up with a groan and looked out of the windshield. Oh, that’s right.

 

The mission. The Galra boy. The escape.

 

He ran a hand through his hair, disgusted at the greasy feeling of old sweat. He couldn’t wait until they were back at the castle and he could take a shower. Across the floor was his helmet, still blinking red and illuminating the dimly lit room. 

 

Allura and Coran must not have found them yet. Maybe they were close and they wouldn’t have to wait too much. Keith’s leg didn’t hurt too bad other than the occasional throb of pain, but he couldn’t even begin to imagine how bad Lance was feeling.

 

Speaking of him, he was being incredibly quiet. Maybe he was still asleep? There was no telling how long he had been asleep for. After all, time was pretty warped out in space. They could have been out here for hours now.

 

He stood up and stretched his arms over his head, cracking the aches in his back. That was the last time he was sleeping on the floor, Christ. 

 

Keith walked around the pilot’s seat, Lance hidden underneath the blanket entirely. He looked like he was shivering. Was he cold?

 

“Lance? You awake?” Keith put a hand on the other’s shoulder to shake him but ripped it away moments later.

 

“Holy  _ shit _ .” Lance was burning up. He could feel it even through the blanket’s thick material.

 

Keith ripped the cloth off of his teammate, his stomach dropping. Lance was curled up tightly, his knees and arms folded to his chest, his whole body shaking with tremors. His breathing came out in short pants through his mouth, his eyes still squeezed shut. His face was flushed on his cheeks and he was still asleep.

 

“Lance! Lance, get up!” Keith barked, shaking his shoulder violently. The blue paladin groaned and lifted his head, revealing the injured side of his face. Keith just about swallowed his tongue.

 

“Mm… Keith? Wha’ issit?” Lance grumbled sleepily, his good eye hazy.

 

The bandages wrapped around Lance’s head were completely soaked with blood, some of it caked into his hair. Keith could see the bruising on his skin even in the darkness. Some of the gauze hung from his face, peeking at the long, angry red cuts.

 

“Sit up,” Keith barked, manhandling Lance. He pushed himself up slowly, his arms trembling under his own weight.

“Wha’s going on?” Lance slurred, blinking at him blearily. A drop of blood rolled off his face and dripped into his lap.

 

“I’m going to take off your bandages, okay?”

 

Keith reached for the gauze only for his hands to be batted away by Lance. “No, ‘m fine.”

 

“Lance! I’m not kidding, I need to see it!” Keith yelled, snatching the end of the bandage before Lance could stop him. 

 

After struggling with the other, Keith managed to get the wrappings off. As expected, the cuts were an angry red and puffy. Blood and clear pus oozed out of it thickly, peeling away and sticking to the gauze when it was removed. The intact skin was black and blue with bruises. It looked painful.

 

Keith clapped a hand to Lance’s forehead and his own to compare. Yep, he  _ definitely _ had a temperature. He had no way to measure it, so he just hoped that it wasn’t worse than 104 degrees Fahrenheit. If it was, then he had no idea what to do.

 

Lance reached up and touched his cuts with his fingertips, wincing at the sting. He pulled it away and gasped at the blood and pus. His eyes were transfixed on his hand and he tried to touch it again before Keith slapped his hand away. His hands started to tremble harder.

 

“Don’t you’ll make it worse. Just… Sit there. I need to find the medkit.”

 

“M’kay,” Lance said softly, slumping in the seat with one wide eye. He was still shaking and wrapped his hands around himself, his teeth chattering noisily. “Is there some sort of heater in here, or something?”

 

Keith disregarded Lance’s comment, blindly making his way into the cockpit. They must have moved further from the stars by now, meaning there was less light than before. His hand knocked against something hard and he grabbed it.

 

Bringing the medkit back, he set it down with a slam before digging through it. Something to disinfect… Ugh, why couldn’t any of these labels be in English?!

 

He ripped open a square packet, a distinct bleach-like scent hitting his nostrils. Inside were multiple thin wipes that were wet with… something.

 

It would have to do for now. 

 

Lance had his eyes closed again, just about to drift back asleep. Keith clasped the other’s shoulders, jolting him awake. “I need you to stay still. I’m going to disinfect it.”

 

Lance hummed in acknowledgment lazily, his head lolling to the side to give Keith access. He unfolded the wet towel and dabbed at the wound as gently as he could, jumping back in surprise when the boy underneath him screamed.

 

“What the fuck- It hurts, it hurts, it  _ hurts!”  _ Lance yelled in a mantra, writhing in the seat. His hand was covering his face again, trying to keep away from Keith.

 

Keith had to wrestle Lance to rip his arms away. “Stop! I know it stings, but we need to clean it before it gets worse!” He tried reached out for the cuts again and pressed it against the cuts, only for Lance to scream louder and cower back in the seat.

 

Lance shook his head side to side violently, his body shaking harder and his breaths quick and uneven. He looked unfocused and panicky, his face unnaturally pale with the flush dusting his cheeks. 

 

Shit, Keith could recognize the signs from a mile away. He held Lance’s hands in his own, giving them a tight squeeze to ground him even for just a second. “Lance, I need you to calm down for me.”

 

“I-I can’t,” Lance gasped between breaths, his eye watery. “I-It hurts.”

 

“I know, but we need to clean it. We don’t want it getting worse, now do we?” Keith said, trying to throw in a playful tone. 

 

Lance shook his head.

 

“Okay, now take deep breaths with me. In for six, out for four,” Keith said, demonstrating it himself first. It took a few tries before Lance finally got in, inhaling shakily through his nose and out his mouth. 

 

“Good, good. Keep doing that,” Keith said, rubbing his thumb over Lance’s fingers. His breathing was less erratic now, but he was still trembling. He said something about being cold, didn’t he?

 

He slipped his hands from Lance’s, to which the other protested, grabbing for them again. Keith held up a finger before grabbing the blanket on the floor, draping it over the blue paladin with a flourish. 

 

Lance took it gratefully, wrapping himself up in it quickly. He took Keith’s hands again, breathing in and out deeply for an unknown amount of time. By the time he was calm enough, the blood had trickled down his neck and soaked into the blanket.

 

Keith had panic attacks before. It wasn’t an uncommon thing for him, even in space. Alone, it took him hours to calm down enough to function properly. Shiro taught him how to deal with it, helped him through it. 

 

He had to be Lance’s Shiro for now.

 

“Feeling better?”

 

Lance just nodded his head, his eyes staring at nothing. He was still coming down from the rush, but Keith didn’t want those scratches exposed for any longer. 

 

Keith grabbed a fresh towel from the packet and unfolded it with one hand, the other still in Lance’s grip. “I’m going to put this on your face now, okay? It’s going to hurt, so just grip my hand.”

 

Lance’s hand tightened around Keith’s before the wipe was even remotely close to his face.

 

Keith huffed a laugh, dragging his hand through Lance’s blood-caked hair. “I haven’t even touched you yet.”

 

Lance gave him a small smile at that, letting his eyes slip shut and his eyebrows taut.

 

He very lightly touched a cut with the towel when Lance jumped, his hands clutching Keith’s in a death grip. Keith tried to be fast with it, biting his bottom lip when the wipe got caught on the scabs. Just when he thought one cut was clean, he would move to the next only to see more pus coming out of the one before.

 

It was a long process. Keith didn’t miss the tears slipping from underneath Lance’s shut eyes.

 

After what felt like forever, Keith pulled away and let himself breathe. “Okay, we’re done now. You can relax.”

 

Without missing a beat, all of the tension in Lance’s body was released. He slumped over in the seat, the blanket almost swallowing his frail, weak body whole. He never let go of Keith’s hand for a second, his grip so tight it caused his knuckles to turn white. 

 

Keith waited for Lance to compose himself, giving him comforting touches along the way. He wasn’t used to this much physical contact, but he pushed his own discomforts aside for Lance. He never shuts up about his family so Keith assumed that he was used to touches and that maybe it might help. 

 

He ran a hand through Lance’s hair again, wincing when it got caught in the clumps and tangles. There was nothing he could do about the blood in it for now, or at least not until they got back to the castle. He had lost a lot of blood…

 

“Shit! You need water, wait just a second!” Keith ripped himself away and dove for the emergency stock. Why they had all this safety equipment  _ without _ a translation was beyond him. His hands met with one of the water pouches and he ripped open the straw, all of it reminding him of when Shiro would bring him Capri Suns for lunch in elementary school.

 

Keith held the straw out for Lance to take, but he turned his head away and into his shoulder.

 

“What is it? Are you okay?” God, more stupid questions.

 

“Stomach,” Lance whispered, his voice low and hoarse. 

 

Keith took Lance’s hand in his, giving it a firm squeeze. “I know it’s hard, but you lost a lot of blood. You need to drink something. Just this pouch, okay?”

 

Lance took the straw in his mouth reluctantly and only managed to drink about half of it before he couldn’t take anymore. He rested his head on the back of the chair, his head tilted up at he groaned in pain. The scrunching of his face opened the scabs again.

 

“It’s hot,” Lance whimpered. “But then without the blanket, it’s cold.”

 

Keith pressed the half-empty packet against Lance’s sweaty face, eyeing the cuts warily. They had no more gauze to cover it with… “That’s the fever, buddy.”

 

“Am I going to die?”

 

Keith nudged him with his elbow. “Don’t say that, drama queen. You’ll be fine.”

 

Lance pulled the blankets tighter around him and leaned into the pouch. “I don’t feel fine,” he slurred.

 

There was a brief silence. “I’m sorry.”

 

Lance cracked open an eye. “What do you mean? As much as I hate to say it, you helped me. A lot.”

 

“Yeah, but… It’s cause of me that you were…” Keith gestured to his own eye. 

 

Lance sat up in his chair, Keith’s hand slipping off his forehead. “Dude, that’s not your fault. It was because of me that...”

 

Keith sighed, lowering his head. “No, I’m at fault here. I knew that you were trying to save him and I didn’t even move to help. I just saw him as another soldier instead of a person. I didn’t even think about how it might affect you, so I looked away and ignored it. And then you-”

 

“Keith.”

 

“No, let me finish. I’m sorry-”

 

“No, Keith, stop.”

 

Tears dripped on the blanket, soaking into the material. Keith looked up to see Lance’s frighteningly pale, tear-stained face. The middle cut had reopened and blood flowed out freely, pus oozing out with it .

 

“I don’t feel well…” Was all Lance could get out before his eyes rolled into the back of his head, his limp body slumping in the chair. Keith jumped to his feet and panicked, grabbing Lance by the shoulders and jostling him, desperately trying to wake him up.

 

“Shit, shit, shit, Lance! Wake up!”

 

No matter how hard he shook, the blue paladin did not stir. He was deathly still in the chair, the only sign he was alive being the slow rise and fall of his chest and the furrow of his brow. Sweat beaded on the other’s forehead and when Keith touched it, he cursed again. His temperature had gotten worse  already.

 

They needed those healing pods  _ now. _

 

Keith’s eyes were drawn to the blinking red light further in the cockpit. He practically threw himself at his helmet and slammed it on his head, immediately trying to contact the castle. All that came from the speakers was static.

 

“Allura! Coran!” Keith yelled frantically into the receiver, his breath picking up speed. “Anyone!”

 

There was nothing. Nothing but static. No matter how much he yelled into the speaker, nobody answered.

 

Keith was frozen to the ground, his whole body numb. He fell onto his knees and tried to calm his heart. His eyes stung.

 

No, he couldn’t do this. Not now, not when Lance was like this.

 

He forced himself onto his feet and marched over to the lion’s dash before slamming his hands down. “Get up! Red, get up now! We need to get to the castle! Lance is dying!”

 

The lion was silent.

 

Keith slammed his hands down, kicked the metal, beat his fists, anything that came to his mind. He looked like a five-year-old throwing a tantrum. The tears locked away came spilling out from frustration as his lion remained dormant and still.

 

He was breathing heavily, his whole body heaving. Behind him, Lance whimpered in his unconsciousness. Keith hunched over the dash, pressing his  forehead against the cool metal.

 

“Please… Red, I can’t lose him. I  _ can’t _ .”

 

It was quiet.

 

…

 

..

 

.

 

..

 

…

 

The red light on Keith’s helmet then clicked before switching to green, a giant wormhole appearing in front of them. From it emerged the castle in its white, shining glory.

 

The static from the receivers crackled as a voice came through. 

 

“Keith, can you hear us? What is your status?”

 

“Hurry! Lance lost too much blood!” Keith yelled, the tears no longer of frustration, but relief. His stomach was in knots from the panic. They were saved,  but one wasted second could result in...

 

Coran’s voice. “We are coming to retrieve your lion, is Lance stable?”

 

“H-He’s unconscious. His cuts were infected a-and he’s sick.”

 

A curse from the older Altean. “Pods are already prepared for you two, just hang tight and stay with Lance.”

 

Keith dropped to Lance’s side and took his hand in his own. His hands were shaking now, whereas Lance’s was still and cold. He still had a pulse, but it was weak.

 

“Hurry,” Keith whispered, almost to himself. “Please, hurry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading all the way! There's one more chapter left which will wrap this whole mess up. It should be posted sometime next week if school doesn't kill me first.
> 
> If you want to submit a prompt, go ahead and message me on my tumblr: https://plumpwhump.tumblr.com/
> 
> Again, reviews and kudos keep me going and fuel me to write more content. You have no idea how much it warms my heart to see someone say they liked the chapter (or yelling at me for the chapter lol)
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People will heal, but they're never the same as they were before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the final chapter. I have to say that writing this was super fun! I loved the concept and knew from the second I got the prompt in my inbox that I had to make it good. Hope I lived up to that.
> 
> Again, a thank you to my editor Nathali. And for always pushing me to get up off my ass to actually write instead of letting it die.
> 
> No warnings in this chapter, folks. Other than intense levels of angst ;3c

Keith stood outside of Lance’s pod, already having come out of his own hours ago. He touched the glass with the back of his hand, looking at the expressionless face of his fellow paladin on the other side.

 

He couldn’t wait for Lance to come out, but he also dreaded it.

 

After the red lion was retrieved, everything was a messy scramble. Keith bolted out of the lion with Lance heavy in his arms, running past the other concerned paladins and missing their panicked questions. He never stopped for anything or anyone and just kept sprinting down what felt like a never-ending hallway. His body had become numb and light, the only feeling he knew being the anxiety in his chest and the burning of his legs.

 

The only thing keeping him grounded was Lance’s faint breathing against his neck.

 

Coran was already waiting in the medbay, two pods activated and open for them. Lance was to be put in first and Keith was kicked out of the room temporarily as the older Altean zipped the blue paladin into a cryosuit.

 

When Keith was let back in a few minutes later, Lance was laying on a table convulsing in pain, more awake than he was than before. Keith immediately rushed over to try and calm the other down, but it didn’t work. No matter how he ran his fingers through his hair or squeezed his hand, Lance didn’t stop thrashing and panting.

 

Coran placed a hand on Keith’s shoulder to grab his attention. “The best thing we can do for him now is getting him into the pod. Quickly, now.”

 

Keith helped Coran hoist Lance into the pod, ignoring the aches of his own body. The glass materialized before the blue paladin could fall over, freezing him in place. He looked frail and tired, the deep gashes on his face contrasting against his skin.

 

It would be fine. Lance would be okay now. The pod will fix both of them and they can forget all about this, just like Lance wanted.

 

But Keith couldn’t stop the growing anxiety in his chest. He was still shaking from the adrenaline, trembling too hard to even hold the pouch of water Coran offered him. In the end, Shiro was called into the room to help calm him down.

 

Keith couldn’t help but compare it to how he helped calm Lance down, subconsciously taking notes.

 

It was like he couldn’t get the blue paladin off his mind.

 

“Keith,” Shiro said in a soft voice. “Can you talk to me?”

 

Keith shook his head no. No, he didn’t want to talk yet. He just wanted to be hugged by Shiro, letting himself finally relax in his brother’s arms. He wanted to be told everything would be alright because Lance was in the pod. Because Lance was safe. Because Lance would heal and he could forgive himself.

 

Once Coran deemed his heart rate “safe”, Keith put on his own suit and stepped into a pod, his eyes slipping shut only to open them after what felt like only seconds later. In reality, he had been in there for about an hour.

 

The rest of the team was in the room, already returned from their own respective missions and eager to find out what happened. The glass popped open, the freezing air hissing out of the sides as Keith sucked in a breath. Hunk was the one to catch him when he fell out, presumably there to watch over his best friend. As soon as Keith was fully awake, he was pestered with questions from the whole team.

 

“What happened out there?”

 

“Are you feeling better?”

 

“How did Lance get those cuts on his face?”

 

“Was the mission successful?”

 

Keith was overwhelmed. His body might have felt refreshed, but mentally, he was still exhausted. Every time he opened his mouth to answer, his words got caught in his throat, threatening to choke him. He ran out of the room before they could reach out and stop him.

 

He could feel the panic rearing its ugly head in his chest and struggled to remain calm. Not now, he tried telling it. The anxieties and doubts were relentless, firing off in his head one after the other.

 

God, this was all his fault. He did this to Lance. His teammate was still frozen behind a pod and he almost  _ died _ .

 

No, Lance would be fine. He was in a pod and healing, it’s going to be alright. Lance is  _ alive _ .

 

He ran faster until he could barely move his legs. The war in his mind was an endless loop of recycled arguments and fears.

 

In the end, Shiro found him holed up in his room hidden underneath the covers hours later. He entered the room soundlessly, standing in the doorway and looking at the lump of blankets that was Keith. Shiro sat on the end of the bed, the mattress dipping underneath his weight.

 

Keith was still for a moment before moving himself, poking his head out from beneath the blankets and resting it in Shiro’s lap. His eyes were red and puffy, but neither of them mentioned it. The room was quiet minus the humming of the castle. Like this, Keith could almost convince himself that he was okay.

 

“Lance is doing fine,” Shiro started, Keith wincing. Shiro always knew what was bothering him, no matter what it was.

 

“But what about…” Keith gestured to his face lamely, not wanting to say it aloud. He didn’t think he would be able to get it out of his mouth anyway.

 

He saw Shiro bite the inside of his cheek and his stomach plummeted. “Well, Coran had a few things to say about that.”

 

There was a weighted pause, nothing like the peaceful silence from before.

 

“The cuts got infected. You two were out there for almost a day, which was long enough for this space infection to get into Lance’s system. I forgot the exact word Coran used. It’s non-fatal, so don’t worry about that, he will be fine.”

 

Keith felt some of the tension in his body relax.

 

“But it damaged his skin, his face in particular. The muscle underneath was completely shredded and it was exposed for too long for the pods to fix it. So he’s going to have…”

 

“He’s going to have scars on his face, Keith.”

 

It felt like a bombshell just dropped on top of Keith, his head swimming. He felt sick as he sat up in a flurry, not wanting to believe this was happening. “But why can’t the pods fix it? Isn’t it just like any other wound?”

 

Shiro shook his head. “It’s too damaged for the pods to repair it, Keith. The only thing they can do is replace the damage with scar tissue, which can’t be taken away. Just like how the pods can’t remove my scars.”

 

Keith let his hands drop into his lap. His eyes stung again, already sore from crying earlier. Shiro wrapped his human arm around his shoulders, pulling him into a comforting one-armed embrace. Keith leaned into the warmth of his chest but refused to let any tears drop.

 

“It’s all my fault,” he croaked, pinching the inside of his palm. Shiro’s embrace grew tighter.

 

“Don’t say that. You did your best and it’s because of that he’s still here. You helped him, Keith. You saved his life.”

 

Keith felt his hands trembling and pinched harder. No, Shiro didn’t understand. It was Keith’s fault Lance was hurt in the first p lace. If he had just cared more, if he was paying more attention to his surroundings. It should have mattered more to him instead of acting indifferent.

 

But he kept his mouth shut, not ready to talk about it just yet. Instead, he hid his face and welcomed his brother’s comfort while he could get it.

 

~~~

 

It wasn’t until the next day when Keith went to go see Lance again.

 

He woke up in his bed bleary and disoriented, Shiro laying next to him snoring peacefully. Keith couldn’t help but smile, grateful that the other had gotten sleep last night. He got up and slipped into a fresh pair of clothes before walking down to the medbay, not bothering to take a shower or get something to eat.

 

The medbay was cold and empty. The cryopod in the center of the room still held Lance, the monitor displaying his vitals and heartbeat. Keith sat in front of the glass with his back pressed against it, leaning his head back and feeling the whir of machinery. His eyes slipped shut as he listened to the steady beeping of Lance’s heart, breathing in time with it.

 

Lance was fine, he tried to convince himself. He was going to be okay.

 

The rest of the team drifted in and out of the room throughout the day. Hunk came to check up on Lance but then switched his focus to Keith. When the red paladin didn’t respond to his words and concerned questions, he left the room and came back later with a bowl of food and a blanket.

 

The food went untouched, but Keith appreciated the gesture anyway.

 

Pidge came in and didn’t do anything other than lean against Keith without a word, her computer in her lap as she typed away on the keyboard. Keith allowed her to work against him, knowing that even she needed comfort and reassurance from time to time, even if she had a hard time voicing that. Eventually, she packed up her things and left just as quietly as when she came in.

 

Allura tried pressing him. She pestered him with question after question even when she knew she wasn’t going to get answers. How did Lance get injured? What happened to your lion? How did all of this happen?

 

In the end, she gave up with a sigh, patting the top of his head lightly before exiting the room.

 

Coran came in periodically to check Lance’s vitals, saying nothing with his mouth, but a lot with his eyes. The sympathetic looks he kept throwing were grating on Keith’s nerves, but he kept his knees tucked in and his head resting on top of them.

 

He fell asleep like that, never making it back to his room.

 

Then, he was awoken in the middle of the night by a loud, familiar beep. Keith had just stood up when the glass opened, leaving Lance to fall out like a broken doll. He caught the blue paladin in his arms, his body limp and not fully awake.

 

He lowered Lance onto the ground, his throat growing tight when he caught sight of the blue paladin’s face. Even in the dim lighting, he could see the scars that ripped through his skin. Keith didn’t look for too long.

 

Lance groaned and opened his eyes slowly, looking around the room before his gaze locked with Keith’s. He felt the air being ripped out of his lungs when he looked into his teammate’s eyes, forgetting how breathtaking they could be. The scratches didn’t seem to have taken away Lance’s vision, thank the lord for small miracles.

 

Lance sat up from Keith’s arms and yawned, pressed a hand to his forehead. “What… Ugh, my head.”

 

Keith lowered him back down, his cheeks flushed red when he realized how intimate their position could be interpreted as. “We were picked up by the castle. What do you remember?” Was it worse than he thought? What if Lance got some sort of amnesia?

 

He could see the gears whirring in Lance’s head as everything came back to him, his expression darkening when it all clicked into place. “W-We finished the mission and I was… Hurt.” Such weighted words. “The cuts got infected and then... I think I passed out.”

 

Keith nodded his head, secretly relieved. Okay, no brain trauma. He bit the inside of his lip when his eyes got caught on the scars again. Lance didn’t seem to notice them yet and Keith didn’t know how he would react. His grip tightened.

 

“How are you feeling now?”

 

Lance wrinkled his nose. “Greasy. My skin probably broke out after not washing it.” He ran a hand through his own hair, groaning in disgust when it got caught in the clumps of dry blood still caked there. “Eugh, what the fuck!”

 

The blue paladin stood up quickly and out of Keith’s arms, practically running out of the room. “Lance, wait-”

 

“I’ll be right back, I’m going to take a shower. I can’t believe you guys didn’t wash this out of my hair before sticking me in the pod. That’s just plain old nasty!” the blue paladin shouted over his shoulder.

 

And before Keith could stop and warn him, or even just explain things a little further, Lance was already out of the room. He sat there in a daze before hopping onto his feet, chasing after the other.

 

He didn’t want Lance to be alone, not when he learne d that… He stopped that train of thought, dreading when it would finally come. Or maybe it was him who didn’t want to be alone.

 

~~~

 

Lance stepped into his own room with a sense of familiarity, glad to be back. No offense to Keith, but he needed some… Alone time. Just to get himself together before he faced the rest of the team. Nothing that a good shower couldn’t fix.

 

Peeling himself out of the cryosuit (eugh, it was taking off a second skin), he tied his fluffy blue robe around himself and stepping into the bathroom. He flicked the light switch on and froze when he spotted himself in the mirror.

 

All the air was ripped out of his lungs and suddenly, he felt detached from his own body. The temperature of the air in the room seemed to plummet. Who was that looking back at him? That couldn’t be him, could it? Lance slowly moved toward the mirror, an outstretched hand touching the glass gingerly.

 

Right over the long, angry scars over the reflection’s face.

 

They ripped straight down the side, jagged and fresh, but for the most part, healed. The pink lines ran through the eyebrow to the bottom of the chin, giving a jarring appearance. The person in the reflection looked weary, their eyes dark and tired as well as wide and distressed.

 

Lance’s fingers slipped off the glass as he touched his own face, watching as the person in the mirror did the same. He saw the tears welling in his eyes, but they did not drop.

 

Oh  _ god. _ This was him.

 

Touching the scars didn’t hurt. They were long and thick, rising up from the rest of his face as he ran his fingers over his skin. He pressed down on it with his nail, hissing when it throbbed. He reached up to touch the beginning of the long scar, feeling where part of his eyebrow had been scratched off and would never grow back.

 

He didn’t… He didn’t look like Lance anymore.

 

There was a stranger looking at him in the mirror.

 

Lance didn’t know how long he stood there, frozen to the ground. His eyes were glued to the mirror, his fingers continually rubbing, poking, and prodding at his… New face. He only snapped out of it when he heard a knocking on the door. His hands came away from his skin and he realized that his nails were digging into the scars. He got distracted by the deep red crescent moons on his cheek.

 

The knocks were louder this time.

 

Lance exited the bathroom, switching off the lights and ripping his eyes away from the mirror as the door closed. With shaky hands, he tightened his robe and stopped just in front of the door, taking a deep breath before opening it. As expected, Keith was on the other side. He didn’t miss the way the red paladin glanced down at his barely-dressed body, his ears red. At this point, Lance was too tired to revel in it.

 

Keith was pinching his hands again, his eyes flickering to the fingernail marks on Lance’s face. “Are you…”

 

Lance sighed, about to run a hand over his face before he stopped himself. His hand dropped back to his side and he shrugged, avoiding Keith’s gaze.

 

“Can I come in?”

 

Lance stepped aside to let Keith in, his arms wrapped around himself. Normally, he would feel jittery about having his rival (read: mega crush) in his room, but he was too weary. Even though he just came out of the pod, he was so tired.

 

Keith sat on the edge of Lance’s bed and patted the empty side next to him. Lance didn’t even protest, walking over silently and sitting next to the red paladin. He sat straight up, not knowing if he could lean on the other or not.

 

“Do you think this is karma?” Lance said quietly. His body felt heavy. Maybe that was the guilt weighing down on him.

 

Keith was quiet, side-eyeing the blue paladin. “What do you mean?”

 

“Well, it’s just…” Lance sighed heavily, mentally cursing when his eyes stung. “This all happened because I-” He faltered, his throat tight and mouth dry. “Because I killed that k-kid.”

 

Lance jolted when Keith snatched up his hand in his, the grip so tight that his fingers ground against each other. Keith’s eyes were angry, but there was another emotion in there. The sincerity and understanding that swam in his gaze made Lance light-headed.

 

“Don’t you dare say that. You didn’t mean to do it and you tried to save him. It’s not your fault he didn’t want the help.”

 

Lance turned his head away, trying to hide the tears in his eyes. “I wanted to forget,” he whispered. “And I knew it was selfish, Keith. I was completely aware.” A stray tear slipped from his eye and he let it trail down his cheek.

 

A calloused hand touched the scarred side of Lance’s face affectionately, guiding his head back up to meet Keith’s eyes. They were so soft that he wanted to never look away. Keith wiped away the single tear with his thumb, careful not to press against the scarred skin. “I wanted to forget the feeling, too. It was, no, is a hard thing to live with. It never goes away, Lance. Not ever.”

 

Lance’s furrowed his brow. “What do you mean?”

 

Keith’s grip on his hand tightened even more if that was possible. “I know what you’re going through, Lance. I’ve… I’ve seen it too. I’ve  _ done  _ it too.”

 

Lance’s eyes grew impossibly wide, his jaw dropping. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t even consider that-”

 

Keith cut him off by pinching his lips together between his thumb and pointer. “Stop, it’s fine. I’ve had time to reflect on it and let me tell you something, Lance.”

 

“It’s okay if you want to try and forget, but it’s never going to happen, at least, not completely. You should instead keep the memories and learn from them. Learn from your mistakes, push forward. Try to save more lives, but remember the ones you took.”

 

Keith’s voice grew thick and Lance wasn’t surprised to see his eyes watering. Lance took one of his hands away and cradled Keith’s cheek. They both sat there on the bed for a long time, reflecting to themselves in their own heads while touching each other to keep themselves grounded. Their hands were clasped together in their laps and the others touching the other’s face. As time passed, they slowly gravitated towards each other until their foreheads touched, neither of them moving away. It was different than when they butted head during arguments. It was more… Intimate than usual.

 

“It’s hard,” Lance murmured.

 

“I know,” Keith whispered, looking deep into Lance’s eyes and absentmindedly admiring the color.

 

The silence returned before suddenly, Lance snickered uncontrollably. He struggled to get himself to stop before choking out, “Well, I sure won’t be able to forget. It’s written all over my face.”

 

It took a moment for Keith to get it, but when he did, he sputtered and broke away from the contact, laughing loudly. “Oh my god, that was  _ awful _ . And here I thought-”

 

It was Lance’s turn to silence Keith. Without a word, he leaned in and pressed his lips to Keith’s, nothing more than a prolonged peck. Lance pulled away before Keith could do anything, only then registering what he just did.

 

It was like his face exploded with red, sputtering and waving around his hands erratically. “Oh, oh God. I’m sorry, I should have asked first or something. Um, I’m sorry-”

 

Keith leaned in and kissed him back, his whole face lit up like a Christmas light. Lance froze before melting into it, pressing back gently and enjoying the feel of the red paladin’s lips. They were more chapped than he thought they would be, but not unpleasantly. His hands found their way into Keith’s hair, pulling him closer as he closed the space between them. Lance lifted his leg over the other and straddled him, only pulling away when he eventually had to come back up for air.

 

Keith swore he saw stars. “Wow.”

 

Lance snickered, resting his head on Keith’s shoulder. “Sorry, I just… It felt right.”

 

Keith tentatively wrapped his arms around Lance’s middle, his back pressed up against the wall. “Why are you saying sorry? I… I liked it. A lot. I really liked it.”

 

Ugh, he was sputtering now. He could still feel the heat radiating off his face.

 

Lance chuckled on top of him before sighing. “Thank you, Keith.”

 

His embrace tightened. “Thank you, Lance.”

 

Keith fell asleep first, but Lance stayed awake to admire the other’s face up close. His finger traced over the faint freckles dotting the other’s cheeks, half tempted to find a marker and play connect-the-dots. Absentmindedly, he touched his own face, tracing the outlines of the scars forever marked there on his cheek.

 

It was true he would never forget what happened. The Galra boy was a part of him after that mission. But, the scars gave him something new.

 

Lance snuggled closer to Keith, letting his own eyes slip shut and breathing in the comforting scent of the red paladin.

 

Would he go back and change things? He didn’t know anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end of the end! Hope you guys liked it! It was a wild ride from start to finish. Thank you for reading all the way through this barely functioning fic. 
> 
> Reviews and kudos as always are appreciated. I plan on making a LOT more content, so if you like my writing, keep an eye out for my work! Or go ahead and subscribe to my account so you can get notified.
> 
> If you're interested in having a prompt written, go ahead and drop me an ask on my tumblr: https://plumpwhump.tumblr.com/

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Reviews and kudos are ALL appreciated here! They are my lifesource and keep my rusty engine going.
> 
> If you have a prompt you would like me to write, drop me an ask at my tumblr: https://plumpwhump.tumblr.com/  
> I take most anything and do most ships. I always go overboard with my stuff, so the result will be pretty long lmao.


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